I have been throwing the idea around for some time now to start writing a book... I have a friend who is in the process of her book and she just seems to have it all-together..makes me really want to write one but I have no idea where or how to begin. I wanted to share a few thoughts with you and kind of write a summary of what my book will be about.. This will be based of true events and ideas, and I am hoping that one day my book will help someone else in their marriage.
Marriage is not a number of how many years you have been together as a couple. Most people that have been married for 15 or 20 years would say that 8 years is not a long time. For me, however, it has felt like a lifetime. Marriage is the struggles, disappointments, and tears that you overcome; joys, achievements, and thrills that you celebrate, together. In my marriage all of these have happened to an extent that most couples would either never deal with, or would take the span of the entire marriage. Most people would, and do say, I'm crazy. They would say the same thing to my husband. There is no other explanation why Derrick and I should be together today, except by the grace of God. Honestly, we should not still be together. We have overcome big hurdles and celebrated gigantic victories. Both, Derrick and I, have grown spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Based on true events and cicircumstances, we are embarking on a journey that will be continued until death do us part. This is my story.....
I would love some feedback or any ideas that would make this better. Especially from my writer friend :)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Mother's Day
First, I would like to say that I love being a mommy. It's the BEST job anyone could ever ask for and I would would never trade it for anything else in the world.
Yesterday was Mother's Day, and it was the best one so far in the 6 years I have had children. My 6 year old presented me with flowers that he wanted to get me as a gift. He had been talking all week about how he wanted to get mommy flowers for Mother's Day, so that is exactly what he got me. We had breakfast which consisted of french toast and eggs (which I had to make, because the hubby does no good in the kitchen) and then I was presented with the BEST gift ever from my hubby. A mother's ring. I have wanted one for a little over a year because, after four children in 7 years, that is all for me. I wanted a ring that signified the love I have for my babies. The best thing is that my hubby actually planned the ring. He had been looking for one, the perfect one, for a couple months and decided on one he liked that looked good with 5 stones. It is beautiful and has my birthstone in the middle with the kid's stones around it. I could not have asked for a better gift. And for him taking the time and putting the thought into it that he did, makes it even more precious. The rest of the day went wonderful, from church to lunch then back to church. One of my favorite things that took place, was the ride to evening service. My oldest wanted to listen to the Casting Crowns CD so I turned it on to the song "Shout to the North." We had it turned up and over the music I hear him and his younger brother singing the song at the top of their lungs. It was the most beautiful music I have ever heard and it is such a blessing to hear my children singing Christian songs.
I am so blessed to have the family I do. My kids are the world to me and my hubby isn't too bad either. :) I hope everyone had a blessed Mother's Day like I did.
How was your Mother's Day? What is your favorite thing about being a mommy? Share your stories...
Yesterday was Mother's Day, and it was the best one so far in the 6 years I have had children. My 6 year old presented me with flowers that he wanted to get me as a gift. He had been talking all week about how he wanted to get mommy flowers for Mother's Day, so that is exactly what he got me. We had breakfast which consisted of french toast and eggs (which I had to make, because the hubby does no good in the kitchen) and then I was presented with the BEST gift ever from my hubby. A mother's ring. I have wanted one for a little over a year because, after four children in 7 years, that is all for me. I wanted a ring that signified the love I have for my babies. The best thing is that my hubby actually planned the ring. He had been looking for one, the perfect one, for a couple months and decided on one he liked that looked good with 5 stones. It is beautiful and has my birthstone in the middle with the kid's stones around it. I could not have asked for a better gift. And for him taking the time and putting the thought into it that he did, makes it even more precious. The rest of the day went wonderful, from church to lunch then back to church. One of my favorite things that took place, was the ride to evening service. My oldest wanted to listen to the Casting Crowns CD so I turned it on to the song "Shout to the North." We had it turned up and over the music I hear him and his younger brother singing the song at the top of their lungs. It was the most beautiful music I have ever heard and it is such a blessing to hear my children singing Christian songs.
I am so blessed to have the family I do. My kids are the world to me and my hubby isn't too bad either. :) I hope everyone had a blessed Mother's Day like I did.
How was your Mother's Day? What is your favorite thing about being a mommy? Share your stories...
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Right Place
It has been a few weeks since I have blogged, but things are going utterly insane in my life right now... The previous post I wrote was about a recent trying time in my life and marriage. We managed to get through that :) Now we have some big decisions to make in the next few months, and I am hoping and praying, it is what God is willing for our lives. It is so hard to understand the right places where God wants us to be. We ask ourselves over and over, "is this the will of God, or just my own selfish desires?" This is a question that I have been asking myself for the last two weeks. There are going to be some serious and huge decisions made and I want God in the midst of those decisions. I'm just not sure if this is what He has planned, or if it's mine and my husbands own way of dealing with this struggle.
I want to tell more but right now I can't. I'm not really looking for feedback or input, I just needed to get some things said to make me feel better. I have been constantly praying about this particular situation, but I'm not sure if I'm getting many answers. There have been a few doors close, that I am totally aware of, and it seems as if others are opening. I'm just not sure in which direction to go. I am trying very hard to not stress out about this, as much as I would like to, so I don't completely lose my sanity...
So for now things are just dormant. Hopefully, in the next few weeks God will give me a certain answer and make things ever so clear for me. I am completely trusting Him in this whole situation, and I believe that He will show my hubby and I just the right places we need to be...
I want to tell more but right now I can't. I'm not really looking for feedback or input, I just needed to get some things said to make me feel better. I have been constantly praying about this particular situation, but I'm not sure if I'm getting many answers. There have been a few doors close, that I am totally aware of, and it seems as if others are opening. I'm just not sure in which direction to go. I am trying very hard to not stress out about this, as much as I would like to, so I don't completely lose my sanity...
So for now things are just dormant. Hopefully, in the next few weeks God will give me a certain answer and make things ever so clear for me. I am completely trusting Him in this whole situation, and I believe that He will show my hubby and I just the right places we need to be...
Monday, April 11, 2011
Forgive and Forget
There comes a point in your life when you have to make yourself forgive past mistakes. Everyone does it, everyone messes up. There's many times when we say something we don't mean, do something we regret later, or even don't do something that we wish we would have. Jesus, tells us to forgive the past, because if we dwell on it especially, we will kill ourselves with hatred. He forgives us for things that we do everyday. I know as humans, it is very hard to forgive and there does come a point where enough can be enough. God does not want us getting run over like freight trains either. But I think about this, God gets run over all the time. He loves us so much that He gives us the free-will to do as we please. He doesn't tie us down, back us into a corner, or demand that we follow Him. That's our choice.
So why can't we be the same? Yes, we do get hurt, we disagree, we sometimes get taken advantage of, so does God. If we are supposed to be in Christ's image that means that we need to act as Christ is in us. I do admit more often than not, I don't act like a Christian. I have my faults, we all do. Forgiveness, is one of those, in most people.
I learned a long time ago to forgive. More often than not I forgive way to easily.
As an early teenager, I had a very hard time growing up. With losing my virginity at a young age, and having inappropriate things done to me by a family member, life was not easy.
It took me many years to forgive these things and move on from those experiences. They affected the way that I interacted with my friends and family. They affected every aspect of my life, until I learned how to forgive the one's who caused the trouble.
I read my Bible, looked up passages about forgiveness and what God says about it. Then I found the story of the cross. We all know the story, heard it a million times, but when you actually need to forgive someone to that magnitude, it shows a whole different story. After what was done to Jesus, He still hung there on the cross asking His Father to forgive those who had persecuted Him. Now, if He can forgive something like that, then it should be simple to forgive the minuscule things that happen to us. Yeah, right!
We have to learn to forgive, it doesn't come naturally by any means.
Forgetting is a whole other story in itself. We can never 100% forget about the things that happened in the past, but we CAN move on from them. I don't think God intended us to ever truly forget the past so that we may learn from our mistakes, and correct them for future reference. We may not ever forget, but we can learn and not repeat those same mistakes.
So why can't we be the same? Yes, we do get hurt, we disagree, we sometimes get taken advantage of, so does God. If we are supposed to be in Christ's image that means that we need to act as Christ is in us. I do admit more often than not, I don't act like a Christian. I have my faults, we all do. Forgiveness, is one of those, in most people.
I learned a long time ago to forgive. More often than not I forgive way to easily.
As an early teenager, I had a very hard time growing up. With losing my virginity at a young age, and having inappropriate things done to me by a family member, life was not easy.
It took me many years to forgive these things and move on from those experiences. They affected the way that I interacted with my friends and family. They affected every aspect of my life, until I learned how to forgive the one's who caused the trouble.
I read my Bible, looked up passages about forgiveness and what God says about it. Then I found the story of the cross. We all know the story, heard it a million times, but when you actually need to forgive someone to that magnitude, it shows a whole different story. After what was done to Jesus, He still hung there on the cross asking His Father to forgive those who had persecuted Him. Now, if He can forgive something like that, then it should be simple to forgive the minuscule things that happen to us. Yeah, right!
We have to learn to forgive, it doesn't come naturally by any means.
Forgetting is a whole other story in itself. We can never 100% forget about the things that happened in the past, but we CAN move on from them. I don't think God intended us to ever truly forget the past so that we may learn from our mistakes, and correct them for future reference. We may not ever forget, but we can learn and not repeat those same mistakes.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Watch Out!
Satan is on a rampage lately in my life. He is trying to destroy a now great relationship, with some old history. It's a little too complicated and drawn out to explain the whole story, but these are some past mistakes that were made. A few days ago I receive a phone call from someone I don't know, with some information about my husband. I had no idea who this girl was or how she knew me. The phone call was disturbing, so I talked to my husband about it. So, we talked and he did admit to me that the events that took place did happen, but previously, not within the time frame she had said. Now I don't know about you, but I am a little more inclined to believe my husband over someone I have no idea who they are. Anyway, things got worse and the situation escalated to where some of his family got involved. It's a big mess. This happened in the past, and things are going really great for us, that I don't at all understand why this is all happening now.
I know that no matter how hard you try, the past always has a way of catching up with you.
The thing for me is that I haven't gotten angry, really stressed, or worried myself sick over this incident. It may sound a little self-centered but I truly believe that both him and I have grown up, given our previous experiences and screw-ups with each other. I truly believe that we can get through anything because of what we have encountered. This is just another one of Satan's horrible tricks to make a happy family (that we have fought very hard for) dissolve.
We have been studying the book of Revelation at church, and we are growing in our faith together, and Satan hates that. He despises that we are working very hard at making our relationship work and forgiving and forgetting the past mistakes. He despises that we are studying and learning from God's Holy Word. He despises that I, personally, despise him. He is also trying so hard that now some of the family is involved, which of course, makes it worse.
So, I'm not sure what we are going to do. I am very angry at the person(s) responsible for this, and the fact that it is just now being brought up. I am also very angry because it has escalated to a point where no one can imagine.
With this said, I warn you may dear friends to be very watchful and alert of the things that Satan is trying to do. I am praying from this time forward that Jesus' return is very soon, so that we don't have to deal with this mess, called life, anymore.
What trials and tribulations have you overcome recently? What things has Satan tried to do to ruin a good thing in your life? Please share, maybe it will lift my spirits :)
I know that no matter how hard you try, the past always has a way of catching up with you.
The thing for me is that I haven't gotten angry, really stressed, or worried myself sick over this incident. It may sound a little self-centered but I truly believe that both him and I have grown up, given our previous experiences and screw-ups with each other. I truly believe that we can get through anything because of what we have encountered. This is just another one of Satan's horrible tricks to make a happy family (that we have fought very hard for) dissolve.
We have been studying the book of Revelation at church, and we are growing in our faith together, and Satan hates that. He despises that we are working very hard at making our relationship work and forgiving and forgetting the past mistakes. He despises that we are studying and learning from God's Holy Word. He despises that I, personally, despise him. He is also trying so hard that now some of the family is involved, which of course, makes it worse.
So, I'm not sure what we are going to do. I am very angry at the person(s) responsible for this, and the fact that it is just now being brought up. I am also very angry because it has escalated to a point where no one can imagine.
With this said, I warn you may dear friends to be very watchful and alert of the things that Satan is trying to do. I am praying from this time forward that Jesus' return is very soon, so that we don't have to deal with this mess, called life, anymore.
What trials and tribulations have you overcome recently? What things has Satan tried to do to ruin a good thing in your life? Please share, maybe it will lift my spirits :)
Friday, March 25, 2011
God Stops
Let me explain...
My way of seeing things through my God given eyes, have become my God Stops. Little things: the way trees grow beside each other and seem to bow to each other to create a sort of arch, the twinkling of each star in the night sky, the moon being the brightest it has been in 20 years, sitting outside wondering what else is out there. Even if you are an unbeliever in Christ, you have to wonder the complexity of nature and the universe. Take a minute to think about it.
Last weekend, the moon was the brightest it's been in 20 years, 16,000 miles closer to Earth. How else could that happen? And my husband and I got to enjoy a part of that night. Things have been so crazy the last couple months, and even though we have been out on a couple dates, I wanted quiet time with him. Just us. No kids, no noise, nothing. So we decided to go outside and sit under the stars. It was later I found out about the moon. I had no idea until a few days after our sitting. You can't tell me it was coincidental. I have realized that nothing in life is coincidental. Things happen according to God's Will and only His. He created the universe and He says the way things should be. The weather, nature, animals, everything responds to His voice. He gives us the choice to respond to His voice. That's a pretty BIG God Stop to me. I have learned to appreciate things for the way they are because it was exactly the way God created it to be. I notice many things now that I would have never thought about before.
I challenge you to do the same. Look at things from a new perspective. See the little things. A cloud in the sky shaped like an animal or object, a butterfly flying in the wind, a bird gathering twigs to build it's nest. I challenge you to find a God Stop. Look at things through your God given eyes, and appreciate the little things.
Do you have a God Stop that has gotten your attention lately? Tell me about it, I would love to hear your God Stop stories.. :)
My way of seeing things through my God given eyes, have become my God Stops. Little things: the way trees grow beside each other and seem to bow to each other to create a sort of arch, the twinkling of each star in the night sky, the moon being the brightest it has been in 20 years, sitting outside wondering what else is out there. Even if you are an unbeliever in Christ, you have to wonder the complexity of nature and the universe. Take a minute to think about it.
Last weekend, the moon was the brightest it's been in 20 years, 16,000 miles closer to Earth. How else could that happen? And my husband and I got to enjoy a part of that night. Things have been so crazy the last couple months, and even though we have been out on a couple dates, I wanted quiet time with him. Just us. No kids, no noise, nothing. So we decided to go outside and sit under the stars. It was later I found out about the moon. I had no idea until a few days after our sitting. You can't tell me it was coincidental. I have realized that nothing in life is coincidental. Things happen according to God's Will and only His. He created the universe and He says the way things should be. The weather, nature, animals, everything responds to His voice. He gives us the choice to respond to His voice. That's a pretty BIG God Stop to me. I have learned to appreciate things for the way they are because it was exactly the way God created it to be. I notice many things now that I would have never thought about before.
I challenge you to do the same. Look at things from a new perspective. See the little things. A cloud in the sky shaped like an animal or object, a butterfly flying in the wind, a bird gathering twigs to build it's nest. I challenge you to find a God Stop. Look at things through your God given eyes, and appreciate the little things.
Do you have a God Stop that has gotten your attention lately? Tell me about it, I would love to hear your God Stop stories.. :)
Monday, March 21, 2011
Time Travel
I have been thinking a lot about time travel lately, due to the fact that I watched a movie about it over the weekend. I've been wondering about things like, what would I change, how could I do things differently, or maybe not do something at all. Do you ever wonder about those things? If you could go back in time what you would change about yourself or something you did?
There are some things that I probably would have liked to handle differently in the past, but I'm not sure if there's really anything inparticular I would change about my life. Things that happen, happen for a reason. Most of the time we have no idea what the reasoning is behind something that happens until much later, if ever at all. No, I wouldn't even change the loss of my child. I would, however, like to go back in time to examine myself on the way I handled it. It's been 4 years and the memory of those days are slowly fading. I would like to see myself, within that time, to see how much I've grown from the experience. There are many things I would like to go back and watch myself as I handled certain issues, problems, or occurrences. Mostly, just to look at how foolish and immature I was in the way I managed situations.
God reminds us "not to dwell on the past, and to forget the things of old." (Isaiah 43:18) He doesn't want us to ruin our lives thinking about what "could have" been, or what "might" have happened. He wants us to learn from our mistakes and heartaches that have happened and then grow from them. We never will completely forget about our pasts, but it helps us to remember what we once were and what we now are.
It might be fun to take a trip back in time to see things in a new perspective, with a little more "grown up" in us, but to actually change or "fix" something, would be a mistake. Take life for all it is worth, and live each day with the outlook that this too shall soon be the past. You can only go day by day, so make yourself proud of today. One day you'll look back and wish you would have done things differently.
There are some things that I probably would have liked to handle differently in the past, but I'm not sure if there's really anything inparticular I would change about my life. Things that happen, happen for a reason. Most of the time we have no idea what the reasoning is behind something that happens until much later, if ever at all. No, I wouldn't even change the loss of my child. I would, however, like to go back in time to examine myself on the way I handled it. It's been 4 years and the memory of those days are slowly fading. I would like to see myself, within that time, to see how much I've grown from the experience. There are many things I would like to go back and watch myself as I handled certain issues, problems, or occurrences. Mostly, just to look at how foolish and immature I was in the way I managed situations.
God reminds us "not to dwell on the past, and to forget the things of old." (Isaiah 43:18) He doesn't want us to ruin our lives thinking about what "could have" been, or what "might" have happened. He wants us to learn from our mistakes and heartaches that have happened and then grow from them. We never will completely forget about our pasts, but it helps us to remember what we once were and what we now are.
It might be fun to take a trip back in time to see things in a new perspective, with a little more "grown up" in us, but to actually change or "fix" something, would be a mistake. Take life for all it is worth, and live each day with the outlook that this too shall soon be the past. You can only go day by day, so make yourself proud of today. One day you'll look back and wish you would have done things differently.
Monday, March 14, 2011
A Few Favorite Things
As a very busy mom of three, I don't have a lot of time to myself, much less think about really doing anything for me. My quiet time consists of the hour to an hour and a half after they go to bed, when I get to sit down, relax, and unwind. Now this may sound a bit corny, but I think it's very important that within our very hectic lives, that we need to sit down and reflect on our favorite things. Some of those things may include, but are not limited to: being a doctor, cook, teacher, disciplinary, referee, song director, pillow, taxi driver, etc...; you get the point. Yes, I do love being all those, along with being a wife, but I sometimes need to think about the things I want, or desire to do, or be.
I desire to be a light unto a very dark world, a friend that someone can talk to, a simple yet complicated girl. I want to be a nurse in a Neonatal Unit at a Children's Hospital, a counselor to a couple that is grieving for the loss of a child, to write a book reflecting on my life and marriage so that other couples can see that a relationship can survive. There are so many things that I would love to do in life, that I sometimes wonder if there is enough time to do it all. Those are a few of the big things...
A few of the little things I love: a pedicure, a walk in the park, watching my children play, a romantic date with my husband, the ocean, the sunset on a summer's eve, feeding the ducks at the pond, and even horseback riding. I firmly believe that with these things that I love, I should set aside time throughout the year, to carry out my favorites. This gives me time to reflect and admire the little things in life that make my particular existence special.
God has created each of us with such uniqueness that we should not take these little things for granted. Everything that is said or done in our lives, is a lesson in shaping and molding us for His Will. Nothing that happens in our lives is coincidental, nothing. He is constantly working on us to better further His Kingdom.
So please take a moment and think about your favorite things. Think about how you can set aside a little time each year to accomplish these favorite things of yours... you will be glad you did :)
I desire to be a light unto a very dark world, a friend that someone can talk to, a simple yet complicated girl. I want to be a nurse in a Neonatal Unit at a Children's Hospital, a counselor to a couple that is grieving for the loss of a child, to write a book reflecting on my life and marriage so that other couples can see that a relationship can survive. There are so many things that I would love to do in life, that I sometimes wonder if there is enough time to do it all. Those are a few of the big things...
A few of the little things I love: a pedicure, a walk in the park, watching my children play, a romantic date with my husband, the ocean, the sunset on a summer's eve, feeding the ducks at the pond, and even horseback riding. I firmly believe that with these things that I love, I should set aside time throughout the year, to carry out my favorites. This gives me time to reflect and admire the little things in life that make my particular existence special.
God has created each of us with such uniqueness that we should not take these little things for granted. Everything that is said or done in our lives, is a lesson in shaping and molding us for His Will. Nothing that happens in our lives is coincidental, nothing. He is constantly working on us to better further His Kingdom.
So please take a moment and think about your favorite things. Think about how you can set aside a little time each year to accomplish these favorite things of yours... you will be glad you did :)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Tattoo or no tattoo?...
I like to dream. I like to see myself better off financially, with a better attitude, in a better relationship. I have goals, aspirations, and amibitions. I am my own person, even if I am married.
Recently, my husband and I have been having a little tiff about me wanting a tattoo. I have wanted one for a few years now, in rememberance of Leah. Nothing big or disgusting looking, small and cute. Something just for me to have as a symbol of her. My hubby on the other hand, not so much. He is very anti-tattoo, piercing, anything that defiles the human body. I can see his points on some levels, but I also remember our wedding vows. I'm still me, he's still him. I know I should honor him in the fact that he doesn't want me to get a tattoo, but he should also honor me in letting me be me. It had been a sturggle for me in deciding whether or not to get one, and i've been told that if I'm struggling this much I shouldn't get one. I don't see that really having anything to do whether I decide to get it or not. What bothers me is that he's supposed to love me for me. I will make mistakes, do things I'd regret later, and I will disappoint him. I'm not perfect, no one is. I still love him reguardless of his faults, because I have come to the realization that he's going to screw up.
So, I think I have decided to not get the tattoo, but I still don't know for sure. A little bit of it is the price issue. Man, I did not realize how expensive a tattoo can be. It's insane! I don't know we will see what happens, but I probably won't get the tattoo. It's frustrating.
Recently, my husband and I have been having a little tiff about me wanting a tattoo. I have wanted one for a few years now, in rememberance of Leah. Nothing big or disgusting looking, small and cute. Something just for me to have as a symbol of her. My hubby on the other hand, not so much. He is very anti-tattoo, piercing, anything that defiles the human body. I can see his points on some levels, but I also remember our wedding vows. I'm still me, he's still him. I know I should honor him in the fact that he doesn't want me to get a tattoo, but he should also honor me in letting me be me. It had been a sturggle for me in deciding whether or not to get one, and i've been told that if I'm struggling this much I shouldn't get one. I don't see that really having anything to do whether I decide to get it or not. What bothers me is that he's supposed to love me for me. I will make mistakes, do things I'd regret later, and I will disappoint him. I'm not perfect, no one is. I still love him reguardless of his faults, because I have come to the realization that he's going to screw up.
So, I think I have decided to not get the tattoo, but I still don't know for sure. A little bit of it is the price issue. Man, I did not realize how expensive a tattoo can be. It's insane! I don't know we will see what happens, but I probably won't get the tattoo. It's frustrating.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Home is Where the Heart is
1house
noun, often attributive \ˈhaus
1: a building that serves as living quarters for one or a few families :
2a (1) : a shelter or refuge (as a nest or den) of a wild animal (2) : a natural covering (as a test or shell) that encloses and protects an animal or a colony of zooids b : a building in which something is housed <a carriage house>
1home
noun \ˈhōm\2: the social unit formed by a family living together
3a : a familiar or usual setting : congenial environment; also : the focus of one's domestic attention <home is where the heart is>
Notice; a house is a building or structure in which one lives, a home is a social unit. A house can look like anything, a metal building, wood, brick, or stone. We are not defined by the way a structure looks like on the outside, but by the structure on the inside.
I have been having a slightly difficult time with moving into a trailer. As a mom, I do want what's best for my children. Ideally, I would love to have a three or four bedroom brick home, but for now this will have to do. Then I realize, my children are warm, they are dry, and they are safe from the elements of nature. My house is not defined by the way it looks, who's lived here before, or even the location of the property. My home is defined by what goes on in the inside. Am I teaching my children what it is like to have a close family? Am I teaching them that we can make it through any type of obstacles, as long as we have each other? Are they seeing, that even though we may struggle and have rough times, that we still love one another more than anything?
I love the old saying "Home is where the heart is" because it is so true, on so many levels. Home IS where the heart is, no matter where you are physically, you can turn any "house", or structure, into a home. When your heart is in it for the long haul, through good times and bad, a cardboard box could be a home if it had to be. Making that conscious decision to fight through the unlikeable and yucky moments, is most certainly something worth building a home for.
I am learning many things on this journey that God is taking me on. I am very goal oriented to turning this silly house into an amazing home...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
To Every Thing There is a Season
Ecclesiastes 3. 1-8
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
There is a season for everything from being born to dieing. We all go through seasons of pain, hurt, healing, peace, mourning, trouble, laughter, and success.
Right now I am going through a couple of different seasons. This year has been really wonderful, though lately I have been grieving for a family that I don't know. My friend that I spoke about in an earlier post, having her newborn daughter in the hospital, her baby died Wednesday. I have been so bothered by this. I haven't talked to my friend in a good 4-5 years and found her through FaceBook. When I heard she had had a baby born with a problem I stated to her that whatever happened to give it to God and if she needed to talk I was there. When the baby died I felt like I was reliving Leah's death all over again. Besides my post I wrote about Leah, I haven't cried that much about her in a couple of years. I understand now why it bothers me so bad. I remember the pain and grief I felt and I don't ever want anyone else feeling what I did. I'm still very saddened by the whole ordeal. It's just this time of year from the day that Leah was born until St. Patrick's Day. It will definitely change my life for these two months forever.
So, back to the seasons of life. We all experience these "seasons". Most instances are just a natural way of life while others are learning processes. God allows these "seasons" to happen in our lives to build us up and strengthen our faith in Him. He never leaves us alone, especially in the troublesome seasons. He teaches us that we need to fully rely and trust in Him to get us through any situation. Most of the time when things are going great we tend to forget about trusting in God for ALL our needs and wants. I believe that's why we have the trouble times, for us to remember. Give Him the glory in all things big and small, good and bad.
Remember, especially the not so good things, are only for a season.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
There is a season for everything from being born to dieing. We all go through seasons of pain, hurt, healing, peace, mourning, trouble, laughter, and success.
Right now I am going through a couple of different seasons. This year has been really wonderful, though lately I have been grieving for a family that I don't know. My friend that I spoke about in an earlier post, having her newborn daughter in the hospital, her baby died Wednesday. I have been so bothered by this. I haven't talked to my friend in a good 4-5 years and found her through FaceBook. When I heard she had had a baby born with a problem I stated to her that whatever happened to give it to God and if she needed to talk I was there. When the baby died I felt like I was reliving Leah's death all over again. Besides my post I wrote about Leah, I haven't cried that much about her in a couple of years. I understand now why it bothers me so bad. I remember the pain and grief I felt and I don't ever want anyone else feeling what I did. I'm still very saddened by the whole ordeal. It's just this time of year from the day that Leah was born until St. Patrick's Day. It will definitely change my life for these two months forever.
So, back to the seasons of life. We all experience these "seasons". Most instances are just a natural way of life while others are learning processes. God allows these "seasons" to happen in our lives to build us up and strengthen our faith in Him. He never leaves us alone, especially in the troublesome seasons. He teaches us that we need to fully rely and trust in Him to get us through any situation. Most of the time when things are going great we tend to forget about trusting in God for ALL our needs and wants. I believe that's why we have the trouble times, for us to remember. Give Him the glory in all things big and small, good and bad.
Remember, especially the not so good things, are only for a season.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Blessings, upon Blessings, upon Blessings
bless·ing n.
2011 so far, has been shaping up to be the BEST year yet... I can't even begin to tell you everything, and every blessing that has come already this year. Between my husband proposing to me on New Year's Eve, us moving out of the expensive house, and now being sooo blessed with more income taxes than we could've dreamed, I just now stopped to think of all the blessings I've had so far in the first two months of 2011.
I know my blog is a little rhetorical, but I just feel like everyday is a blessing in itself. If you are a believer in Christ than you know how everyday you breathe and wake up to a new day, it's a blessing. When someone tells you they love you or how important you are, it's a blessing. When you've had a long day, and your children say "Mommy, I love you," it's a blessing. We all need to stop for a moment, just a moment, each day and realize the blessings we have around us. Be thankful for who you are as a person and what God has given you. Hard times will come, but even they, are blessings.
I was listening to K-Love on my way home from Wal-mart this evening and heard this: "God, sometimes, gives us more than we can handle. He does this so that we won't always think that we can do it ourselves. Because if we get it in our mind to do it ourselves then we can't call on Him for His help." It is a different way of looking at things. I have always been taught that God will never give us more than we can handle, but now I do see it in a different perspective. Sometimes God does give us more than what we can handle, so that, we have to lean to Him for help. He shows us blessings in every little thing.
Take a moment to think of some blessings that God has given you so far this year. Have they been noticeable blessings, or one's that take a little time to play out so you can see the bigger blessing? Share your thoughts if you feel led...
1. The act of one that blesses.
2. A short prayer said before or after a meal; grace.
3. Something promoting or contributing to happiness, well-being, or prosperity; a boon.
4. Approbation; approval:
2011 so far, has been shaping up to be the BEST year yet... I can't even begin to tell you everything, and every blessing that has come already this year. Between my husband proposing to me on New Year's Eve, us moving out of the expensive house, and now being sooo blessed with more income taxes than we could've dreamed, I just now stopped to think of all the blessings I've had so far in the first two months of 2011.
I know my blog is a little rhetorical, but I just feel like everyday is a blessing in itself. If you are a believer in Christ than you know how everyday you breathe and wake up to a new day, it's a blessing. When someone tells you they love you or how important you are, it's a blessing. When you've had a long day, and your children say "Mommy, I love you," it's a blessing. We all need to stop for a moment, just a moment, each day and realize the blessings we have around us. Be thankful for who you are as a person and what God has given you. Hard times will come, but even they, are blessings.
I was listening to K-Love on my way home from Wal-mart this evening and heard this: "God, sometimes, gives us more than we can handle. He does this so that we won't always think that we can do it ourselves. Because if we get it in our mind to do it ourselves then we can't call on Him for His help." It is a different way of looking at things. I have always been taught that God will never give us more than we can handle, but now I do see it in a different perspective. Sometimes God does give us more than what we can handle, so that, we have to lean to Him for help. He shows us blessings in every little thing.
Take a moment to think of some blessings that God has given you so far this year. Have they been noticeable blessings, or one's that take a little time to play out so you can see the bigger blessing? Share your thoughts if you feel led...
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Little Blessings... Part 3
God never, ever, ever gives us more than we can handle.. I am proof of this. I do understand that everyone has rough times and sometimes we even consider, or do, give up. We need to stop and think about the consequences of giving up, or stop trying. God never, nor will He ever give up on us, and we need to be aware of this fact.
I learned a few very valuable lessons from losing a child. I wouldn't consider learning the "hard way" or even that I had done something wrong, and God was punishing me for it. Things just happen. There is no rhyme or reason for the way things happen in our lives, they just do. I do know that this happened in my life for a reason. I'm not really sure why, but it did. Maybe to be a witness to someone who I know, or even a perfect stranger that will lose a child. That's just something I will have to figure out as I go on in my life.
The night before Leah died, I prayed. I prayed hard. I asked God to fix Leah so that she wouldn't have to go through all the pain that she had experienced so far in her 31 days on the earth. As I laid there in my bed, God revealed something to me. He told me she was going to die, and that He was taking her to Heaven with Him. Of course, my heart broke. I cried myself to sleep that night knowing that Leah wouldn't be on this earth much longer. I told God that His Will be done and I couldn't handle the heartache of seeing her suffer anymore and that I was giving her life to Him. After I did that, instantly there was a peace in my heart and I knew that God would answer my prayer. No, I wasn't mad at God or blame Him for any of the things that had happened. I sat down and realized that God DID fix Leah. She's not suffering anymore. She didn't have to go another day in this world with tubes, tests, or needle sticks. He saved her from the pain, teasing, having to live in a bubble, or for my sake having to deal with the stress of having a high maintainance child. I truely believe that if Leah would have lived then I would not have the younger two of the four children, I have today. There would be no way I could handle a two and a half year old boy, Leah, and then if I did have the other two children. Leah would not have been easy to raise. Doctor's visits, surgeries, and having to keep her "in a bubble", for the first 4-5 years of her life. Besides, what kind of life would that have been for a child?
So I learned to give my problems to God. No matter what problem you have, NOTHING is too big or too small for Him to handle.
Leah died on St. Patrick's Day 2007. She lived 31 days. She was a beautiful angel God sent our family and this world for only a short time. I thank God everyday for the opprutunity of knowing her. And somehow, she changed the lives of so many people. I know she changed my life, for the better. Yes, I do miss her, all the time. Four years have gone by so fast, and today on her birthday, I don't even know where the day went. I miss her just as much now as I did then, but it's a little easier to handle now. I know that one day I will see her again and I can't wait to meet her, and for her to meet her two brothers and sister. And I hope that God is pleased with me in the way that I have and am handling things now.
I have learned so much from my experiences in life that it would take weeks, or even months, to explain them all. I just wanted to share a bit so that others will not be discouraged, but have faith and trust ONLY in Him. No one ever said life was easy, but a life with Jesus makes it a whole lot easier....
I learned a few very valuable lessons from losing a child. I wouldn't consider learning the "hard way" or even that I had done something wrong, and God was punishing me for it. Things just happen. There is no rhyme or reason for the way things happen in our lives, they just do. I do know that this happened in my life for a reason. I'm not really sure why, but it did. Maybe to be a witness to someone who I know, or even a perfect stranger that will lose a child. That's just something I will have to figure out as I go on in my life.
The night before Leah died, I prayed. I prayed hard. I asked God to fix Leah so that she wouldn't have to go through all the pain that she had experienced so far in her 31 days on the earth. As I laid there in my bed, God revealed something to me. He told me she was going to die, and that He was taking her to Heaven with Him. Of course, my heart broke. I cried myself to sleep that night knowing that Leah wouldn't be on this earth much longer. I told God that His Will be done and I couldn't handle the heartache of seeing her suffer anymore and that I was giving her life to Him. After I did that, instantly there was a peace in my heart and I knew that God would answer my prayer. No, I wasn't mad at God or blame Him for any of the things that had happened. I sat down and realized that God DID fix Leah. She's not suffering anymore. She didn't have to go another day in this world with tubes, tests, or needle sticks. He saved her from the pain, teasing, having to live in a bubble, or for my sake having to deal with the stress of having a high maintainance child. I truely believe that if Leah would have lived then I would not have the younger two of the four children, I have today. There would be no way I could handle a two and a half year old boy, Leah, and then if I did have the other two children. Leah would not have been easy to raise. Doctor's visits, surgeries, and having to keep her "in a bubble", for the first 4-5 years of her life. Besides, what kind of life would that have been for a child?
So I learned to give my problems to God. No matter what problem you have, NOTHING is too big or too small for Him to handle.
Leah died on St. Patrick's Day 2007. She lived 31 days. She was a beautiful angel God sent our family and this world for only a short time. I thank God everyday for the opprutunity of knowing her. And somehow, she changed the lives of so many people. I know she changed my life, for the better. Yes, I do miss her, all the time. Four years have gone by so fast, and today on her birthday, I don't even know where the day went. I miss her just as much now as I did then, but it's a little easier to handle now. I know that one day I will see her again and I can't wait to meet her, and for her to meet her two brothers and sister. And I hope that God is pleased with me in the way that I have and am handling things now.
I have learned so much from my experiences in life that it would take weeks, or even months, to explain them all. I just wanted to share a bit so that others will not be discouraged, but have faith and trust ONLY in Him. No one ever said life was easy, but a life with Jesus makes it a whole lot easier....
Little Blessings... Part 2
Today, I am sharing my story with you about the hardest time in my life. Life is not easy to begin with, no one said it ever was, but losing a child is the hardest thing anyone could go through, and I would never wish it on anyone, even my worst enemy. This is a big part of the reason my blog is named "Grow From the Inside-Out". All the trials and tribulations that we go through in life is part of a growing process. Now, whether you choose to take this process positive or negative, will affect the end result of the situation. I choose to look at things as positively as possible, even when I don't feel like it.
Four years ago today, I was at Mercy Hospital delivering a beautiful baby girl, Leah Katrine. She was born at 9:15 am and weighted 6lbs. 6oz. She was everything I had imagined, being that I already had a boy, and wanted a little girl so bad. There was one problem... I knew something was wrong.
During my first ultrasound, they found something wrong. Her spine was not fused together like it should have been. She had what they called a hemi-vertebrae. The doctor wasn't sure how it would affect her after birth, but while I was pregnant, things seemed to be going ok. He did, however, give me the option to abort. Of course, I said No I don't care if she had eyeballs on her feet, God had given her to me for a reason. So pregnancy went on, and things were ok. I had ultrasound after ultrasound just to make sure she was growing like she should, and she was.
Fast forward to today, four years ago. Leah was born. From first glance she looked ok, but they wanted to take her back to the NICU to check her out make sure things were ok. I get to my room and my hubby comes tells me what's going on.
Here's the rough part...
She was born without an anus, the problem she had with her spine had pushed her heart over to her right side, which collapsed her right lung, and she wasn't breathing ok. They had to intubate her, to help her breathe. They told me that later that day she would be medi-flighted to OU Children's Hospital, so they could take better care of her. That was fine with me, it's the best Children's hospital in the state, but I was stuck in my bed for at least another day. That broke my heart. I didn't sleep well and you can bet that early the next morning I had my doctor in there, with me telling him that I'm leaving. I had been through a c-section before with my first, I knew how to take care of myself. So, he let me go...
From that day, for the next 30 days my husband and I were at that hospital everyday. There were a lot more bad days then good. It put a very big strain on mine and Derrick's relationship. We both tried to stay strong for each other, but he couldn't handle it. He started drinking and drinking a lot. Especially after she died, he fell into a deep depression.
Leah ultimately died from a respiratory problem called PPHN or Persistant Pulmonary Hypertension of Newborns. You may go look it up if you want more information on it.
To tell you the truth, I was ok when she died. As a mother, I knew that God was going to take her. It was very hard for me to let her go and give her to Him. But, when I did, it made losing her easier to handle.
In my third post tonight, I will talk about the lesson(s) I learned from the experience, and how anything that we go through in life, are learning tools. Learning to lean on Him for everything..... Stay tuned...
Four years ago today, I was at Mercy Hospital delivering a beautiful baby girl, Leah Katrine. She was born at 9:15 am and weighted 6lbs. 6oz. She was everything I had imagined, being that I already had a boy, and wanted a little girl so bad. There was one problem... I knew something was wrong.
During my first ultrasound, they found something wrong. Her spine was not fused together like it should have been. She had what they called a hemi-vertebrae. The doctor wasn't sure how it would affect her after birth, but while I was pregnant, things seemed to be going ok. He did, however, give me the option to abort. Of course, I said No I don't care if she had eyeballs on her feet, God had given her to me for a reason. So pregnancy went on, and things were ok. I had ultrasound after ultrasound just to make sure she was growing like she should, and she was.
Fast forward to today, four years ago. Leah was born. From first glance she looked ok, but they wanted to take her back to the NICU to check her out make sure things were ok. I get to my room and my hubby comes tells me what's going on.
Here's the rough part...
She was born without an anus, the problem she had with her spine had pushed her heart over to her right side, which collapsed her right lung, and she wasn't breathing ok. They had to intubate her, to help her breathe. They told me that later that day she would be medi-flighted to OU Children's Hospital, so they could take better care of her. That was fine with me, it's the best Children's hospital in the state, but I was stuck in my bed for at least another day. That broke my heart. I didn't sleep well and you can bet that early the next morning I had my doctor in there, with me telling him that I'm leaving. I had been through a c-section before with my first, I knew how to take care of myself. So, he let me go...
From that day, for the next 30 days my husband and I were at that hospital everyday. There were a lot more bad days then good. It put a very big strain on mine and Derrick's relationship. We both tried to stay strong for each other, but he couldn't handle it. He started drinking and drinking a lot. Especially after she died, he fell into a deep depression.
Leah ultimately died from a respiratory problem called PPHN or Persistant Pulmonary Hypertension of Newborns. You may go look it up if you want more information on it.
To tell you the truth, I was ok when she died. As a mother, I knew that God was going to take her. It was very hard for me to let her go and give her to Him. But, when I did, it made losing her easier to handle.
In my third post tonight, I will talk about the lesson(s) I learned from the experience, and how anything that we go through in life, are learning tools. Learning to lean on Him for everything..... Stay tuned...
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Little Blessings...
This is the beginning of a three part post that I will start tonight and the other two posts will be on Wednesday. I am cutting it into three parts, so that it will not be a horribly long post with one.
On a recent post on Facebook, one of my friends couldn't have said it better:
On a recent post on Facebook, one of my friends couldn't have said it better:
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Coincidence?...
Just a coincidence, or an answer to what I've been looking for?
It's tax time as we all know, and this year I am bound and determined to get a new vehicle. With three children, my station wagon is just not cutting it anymore in the roomy department. I want a mini van. Now I don't have credit, and with no REAL job, no one would ever approve me for a loan. My hubby, on the other hand, has crappy credit, but has a job. Never in my wildest dreams, would I think that someone would approve him for a loan, but there is. We have been discussing buying a newer car for some time but just never really had the money, nor the extra every month to keep up with a car payment. This year, however, we have decided to buckle down and use some of our tax money for a down payment on a van. We do see some light at the end of the tunnel for our financial situation, and are able to afford a car payment now. So, I start shopping. I have searched the Internet and he has searched the surrounding towns for a van with a good deal. I think we have found one. The coincidence is, I have been listening to a Christian radio station now non-stop for the last 2-3 months. K-Love is an awesome station, that provides me with music that keeps my faith and continuously encourages me. I went to test drive a van that I had been looking at for the last week or so. It's a good deal, with manageable payments for our budget. Anyway, I get in the van, take off down the road for my test drive, and realize something. I'm not in my car and the radio was playing. That's right, it was playing K-Love. I haven't test driven many cars, so I'm not too familiar if the dealership normally leaves the radio on in their cars. I'm assuming not. I thought to myself at that moment, "is this just a coincidence God, or the answer to which van I'm supposed to have?" I haven't even told my husband about what happened, but I'm anxious to see what kind of reaction I get from it.
What coincidences, or unique answers have you received from God? Did you listen to them, and something wonderful happened, better than you had anticipated? Or, did you ignore, or simply miss them and things didn't turn out as planned?
Let me know your thoughts...
It's tax time as we all know, and this year I am bound and determined to get a new vehicle. With three children, my station wagon is just not cutting it anymore in the roomy department. I want a mini van. Now I don't have credit, and with no REAL job, no one would ever approve me for a loan. My hubby, on the other hand, has crappy credit, but has a job. Never in my wildest dreams, would I think that someone would approve him for a loan, but there is. We have been discussing buying a newer car for some time but just never really had the money, nor the extra every month to keep up with a car payment. This year, however, we have decided to buckle down and use some of our tax money for a down payment on a van. We do see some light at the end of the tunnel for our financial situation, and are able to afford a car payment now. So, I start shopping. I have searched the Internet and he has searched the surrounding towns for a van with a good deal. I think we have found one. The coincidence is, I have been listening to a Christian radio station now non-stop for the last 2-3 months. K-Love is an awesome station, that provides me with music that keeps my faith and continuously encourages me. I went to test drive a van that I had been looking at for the last week or so. It's a good deal, with manageable payments for our budget. Anyway, I get in the van, take off down the road for my test drive, and realize something. I'm not in my car and the radio was playing. That's right, it was playing K-Love. I haven't test driven many cars, so I'm not too familiar if the dealership normally leaves the radio on in their cars. I'm assuming not. I thought to myself at that moment, "is this just a coincidence God, or the answer to which van I'm supposed to have?" I haven't even told my husband about what happened, but I'm anxious to see what kind of reaction I get from it.
What coincidences, or unique answers have you received from God? Did you listen to them, and something wonderful happened, better than you had anticipated? Or, did you ignore, or simply miss them and things didn't turn out as planned?
Let me know your thoughts...
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Good Intentions?
For 8 years, I have tried very hard to get along with Derrick's dad and step-mom. I think they are finally letting bygones be bygones, and accepting me for being the wife to their son, and mother of their grandchildren. They have never liked me, thought I wasn't good enough for Derrick. Which, I totally understand, what significant other is ever good enough for your children? The main reason they have never liked me is because I don't work. Derrick's step-mom has worked all of her life to help support the family, even with her own children. Sure, that's great if you have one kid, maybe two, and have a good enough job to where you can afford daycare and still come out with a little cash. Not the case for me. I did have a job after I had my first son, which I continued to work, until my second child was born. The job I had was in the food service industry so, of course, it didn't pay well at all, but I kept working. I worked for a short time after my third child was born, until I had my fourth. Then I stopped working. What is the point in working with three children either going to daycare or in school? None. Every penny that I would make working would go to daycare or gas. There would be nothing left for bills, so I'm wasting mine and my children's time letting someone else raise them. Now I'm not saying that a woman shouldn't work. I think it's great if both parents can work for the extra income and especially if you can afford daycare and still make actual money. It's just pointless in my situation. I would love to have a job making fifty grand a year, living in an awesome house and driving an awesome car. But, I love my children more. While they are little, they need their mommy. When they are all in school and old enough to come home and take care of themselves for a couple hours a day until I get home, then that's great, I'll go to work. But for now, I will be a stay-at-home mommy...
Sorry, just my thoughts. Now back to my story...
So Derrick's dad has been in and out of the hospital, in very bad shape. I want to try to make up for (because I feel like I have let them down) whatever it is that ails his parents to not like me. I have been calling and checking in on them twice a day while Derrick is at work, and being as sweet to them as I can. I don't do it to be a jerk, but to show them that I'm not a bad person and they can count on me for anything if they need it. I don't do it to be spiteful or hateful, just nice. I'm hoping that they can forgive and forget about how they feel about me, and we can all have peace during this time of stress. I feel so horrible for Derrick, being stuck in the middle. Maybe, just maybe, things will work themselves out and they will finally accept, (maybe not agree with) but accept my way of thinking.
Good Intentions? Let me know your thoughts...
Sorry, just my thoughts. Now back to my story...
So Derrick's dad has been in and out of the hospital, in very bad shape. I want to try to make up for (because I feel like I have let them down) whatever it is that ails his parents to not like me. I have been calling and checking in on them twice a day while Derrick is at work, and being as sweet to them as I can. I don't do it to be a jerk, but to show them that I'm not a bad person and they can count on me for anything if they need it. I don't do it to be spiteful or hateful, just nice. I'm hoping that they can forgive and forget about how they feel about me, and we can all have peace during this time of stress. I feel so horrible for Derrick, being stuck in the middle. Maybe, just maybe, things will work themselves out and they will finally accept, (maybe not agree with) but accept my way of thinking.
Good Intentions? Let me know your thoughts...
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Not as Much fun as I had hoped...
After being stuck at home, snowed in, for the last 2 days, today I NEEDED to get out. I love it how we make plans, or expect things to go one way, then God gives us something completely different. Let me explain...
My hubby's dad has been in the hospital for 6 days today. He of course was ready to come home after being in and out of the hospital for the last month and a half. He has many health issues, which we're not going to get into, but I am afraid that Derrick will be losing his dad soon. Anyway, Derrick's step-mom called him today and said that his dad was ready to come home and was being released to go tonight. That's great, I thought, we can all load up (the 5 of us) and we can actually get out of the house for awhile. What should have been a 2- 2 1/2 hour trip, turned into a little over 6 hours. Now I can totally understand taking longer, because of the snow and ice on the ground, but this was horrendous. First, I needed to stop at Walmart to get a few things that we had run out of, being stuck at home. Then we were on our way to Oklahoma City to get his dad. My oldest son stayed home with Derrick's step-mom to keep her company while we were gone, not to mention that there wouldn't be enough room in the truck for his dad if we all went. So we get to the hospital to pick up his dad. I will just tell you that his dad should NOT have left that hospital. He is in very bad shape and needs around the clock care. Now this little trip would've been great, if it had just been Derrick and I. About half way through the trip home, our two little ones, 1yr old and 2 1/2 yr old, started to get very fussy from sitting in the vehicle so long. With no dinner or much entertainment, I had to figure out something fast. I had a few of the groceries in the truck with me, so I dug out a banana and split it between the two babies. That sufficed them for about five minutes, when they were at it again. My hubby and I were joking around that if we didn't want them to sleep then they would've been out at the beginning of the trip. They were awake the entire evening, fussy. So, we get his dad home and Derrick and I had to work together to get him in the house and in bed. I say we did a good job.
So that little trip is over and we're on our way home when Derrick tells me he had some news. His step-mom wanted him to stay the night, just in case his dad needed anything. I'm not mad that he's staying the night, at all. I'm actually very, very glad that he was willing to do this. Yes, I will miss him at home, but his dad needs him more right now.
As for me wanting to get out of the house, no, I didn't think it would be a walk in the park going to get his dad, especially with two little ones, but I really expected things to go a little more smoothly then they did. I don't feel like I contributed anything to helping Derrick with his dad, but that I was more in the way, than good. On the contrary, to Derrick, he said that he couldn't have done it without me. Wow.
The Lord will work out his plans for my life - for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me.
~ Psalm 138:8, NLT
My hubby's dad has been in the hospital for 6 days today. He of course was ready to come home after being in and out of the hospital for the last month and a half. He has many health issues, which we're not going to get into, but I am afraid that Derrick will be losing his dad soon. Anyway, Derrick's step-mom called him today and said that his dad was ready to come home and was being released to go tonight. That's great, I thought, we can all load up (the 5 of us) and we can actually get out of the house for awhile. What should have been a 2- 2 1/2 hour trip, turned into a little over 6 hours. Now I can totally understand taking longer, because of the snow and ice on the ground, but this was horrendous. First, I needed to stop at Walmart to get a few things that we had run out of, being stuck at home. Then we were on our way to Oklahoma City to get his dad. My oldest son stayed home with Derrick's step-mom to keep her company while we were gone, not to mention that there wouldn't be enough room in the truck for his dad if we all went. So we get to the hospital to pick up his dad. I will just tell you that his dad should NOT have left that hospital. He is in very bad shape and needs around the clock care. Now this little trip would've been great, if it had just been Derrick and I. About half way through the trip home, our two little ones, 1yr old and 2 1/2 yr old, started to get very fussy from sitting in the vehicle so long. With no dinner or much entertainment, I had to figure out something fast. I had a few of the groceries in the truck with me, so I dug out a banana and split it between the two babies. That sufficed them for about five minutes, when they were at it again. My hubby and I were joking around that if we didn't want them to sleep then they would've been out at the beginning of the trip. They were awake the entire evening, fussy. So, we get his dad home and Derrick and I had to work together to get him in the house and in bed. I say we did a good job.
So that little trip is over and we're on our way home when Derrick tells me he had some news. His step-mom wanted him to stay the night, just in case his dad needed anything. I'm not mad that he's staying the night, at all. I'm actually very, very glad that he was willing to do this. Yes, I will miss him at home, but his dad needs him more right now.
As for me wanting to get out of the house, no, I didn't think it would be a walk in the park going to get his dad, especially with two little ones, but I really expected things to go a little more smoothly then they did. I don't feel like I contributed anything to helping Derrick with his dad, but that I was more in the way, than good. On the contrary, to Derrick, he said that he couldn't have done it without me. Wow.
The Lord will work out his plans for my life - for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me.
~ Psalm 138:8, NLT
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Stuck...
So, this so called blizzard of 2011 is starting to stress me out just a bit. I love being at home with my kids and I'm so thankful that my husband has had these last two days off work. It's just starting to get a little old. It has been very nice to get to spend some much needed time with my husband, he's been gone so much lately. We have had a very good last couple of days stuck here at home with all the snow. It has been a lot of indoor playing, watching movies, and eating ourselves silly. I can't believe how lazy I have been these last two days. I know it's not so much that I can't get out of the house, it's the fact that I CAN'T get out of the house. My oldest son and I went out to play in the snow for about 20 minutes today, but that still wasn't enough. I need to go somewhere. I need my normal routine back. Everyday during the week, I get up, get the kids dressed, take Jorden to school. Then we come home, do our stuff at home, kids take naps, then it's right back to get Jorden from school. I hate being off my routine! Don't you?
I do have to admit though, that I have not been spending these last couple of days doing what I should be doing. I should be reading my Bible, thanking God for the beautiful snow, loving the time in my warm home, but I'm not. I sit here and whine because I 'm off my routine. My house is a mess, there is a sink full of dishes, and I haven't done a thing about it. Hmmm... Maybe tomorrow, I will try to start back on some sort of routine, just without taking Jorden to school. The hubby has to go back to work, so at least that will be back to normal. Maybe, just maybe, I can be unlazy tomorrow. We shall see.
What kind of routine do you have? Has the snow made you stir crazy? What kind of things are you doing to help prevent yourself from going nuts?
I would love your feedback :)
I do have to admit though, that I have not been spending these last couple of days doing what I should be doing. I should be reading my Bible, thanking God for the beautiful snow, loving the time in my warm home, but I'm not. I sit here and whine because I 'm off my routine. My house is a mess, there is a sink full of dishes, and I haven't done a thing about it. Hmmm... Maybe tomorrow, I will try to start back on some sort of routine, just without taking Jorden to school. The hubby has to go back to work, so at least that will be back to normal. Maybe, just maybe, I can be unlazy tomorrow. We shall see.
What kind of routine do you have? Has the snow made you stir crazy? What kind of things are you doing to help prevent yourself from going nuts?
I would love your feedback :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Mini Vacations..
As a mom with three children, my life is very hectic. Thank goodness for mini-vacations!
Tonight I was told to go grocery shopping by my hubby. I don't exactly know why he wanted me to go tonight, a Thursday, of all nights but I went. I didn't really want to go to Wal-mart alone so I text a very good girlfriend of mine. I asked her if she wanted out of the house for a couple hours and go with me. I'm glad she said yes. I love having girlfriends to share things with that I wouldn't tell anyone else. Someone to vent to if I have a problem, or an ear to listen if I'm having a great day. Friends are supposed to be listeners, a shoulder to cry on, a sidekick, or even a sounding board. I'm very blessed to have a few friends in my life like that.
As for my mini-vaca, It's very funny that as a mom a trip to the grocery store with no children is the highlight of the week. Being able to go into a store and not hearing "I want this", or "can I have that" is very pleasing to a mother's ear. I love my children, but as a stay-at-home mommy, we all need a small break. And somehow, just them sleeping is not enough. You need out of the house, just for a little while, even if it is to the grocery store and back. I have noticed that, when I do make a trip to the store sometimes I won't be gone more than 30 minutes. My hubby laughs at me when I get home so quickly after complaining that I needed a break. Why in the world do I only stay gone 30 minutes, if I did need a break? I know! It's because I don't have kiddos to chase after or hunt down in the store. I can actually go get what I need and get done in a timely manner. Very funny how that works.
So as my mini-vacations, I will take them as long as I can get them. And I thank God for a husband who let's me have those moments, and a GREAT friend to go with me.
Tonight I was told to go grocery shopping by my hubby. I don't exactly know why he wanted me to go tonight, a Thursday, of all nights but I went. I didn't really want to go to Wal-mart alone so I text a very good girlfriend of mine. I asked her if she wanted out of the house for a couple hours and go with me. I'm glad she said yes. I love having girlfriends to share things with that I wouldn't tell anyone else. Someone to vent to if I have a problem, or an ear to listen if I'm having a great day. Friends are supposed to be listeners, a shoulder to cry on, a sidekick, or even a sounding board. I'm very blessed to have a few friends in my life like that.
As for my mini-vaca, It's very funny that as a mom a trip to the grocery store with no children is the highlight of the week. Being able to go into a store and not hearing "I want this", or "can I have that" is very pleasing to a mother's ear. I love my children, but as a stay-at-home mommy, we all need a small break. And somehow, just them sleeping is not enough. You need out of the house, just for a little while, even if it is to the grocery store and back. I have noticed that, when I do make a trip to the store sometimes I won't be gone more than 30 minutes. My hubby laughs at me when I get home so quickly after complaining that I needed a break. Why in the world do I only stay gone 30 minutes, if I did need a break? I know! It's because I don't have kiddos to chase after or hunt down in the store. I can actually go get what I need and get done in a timely manner. Very funny how that works.
So as my mini-vacations, I will take them as long as I can get them. And I thank God for a husband who let's me have those moments, and a GREAT friend to go with me.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Blessings...
Wow! So my life has been pretty quiet the last few days after moving. I have actually had a little time to sit down and ponder what has happened the last few months. I am so blessed, happy, emotional and exhausted. It's the small things in life that make you think (well some big ones too). Since finding out about our house being put up on auction, stressing out about what we're going to do, I never really sat down to think how this might just be a blessing in disguise. Tonight as I write this, I'm thinking just that. After being settled in, and spending the night here for the last three nights, I'm beginning to realize what a blessing this has been. Even through all the worry and stress, I never took my eyes off God. I have begun to thank Him more regularly for this small crisis that has happened. I don't think He would call it a crisis, but a time of growing. Everything that happened in our lives are growing moments, or pains, you could say. God is preparing us each day to learn how to trust in Him for everything we do. I might add that, trusting Him, especially in the hardest times, is VERY hard to do. I think I handled this experience a lot better because of the trials I have been through previously. Here's a little background:
Derrick and I have been married for 7 years. We've had our tough times and we've had our good times. Sometimes, I still wonder why I married him or why God allowed us to meet and brought us to marriage. Derrick and I had been married about 2 years when we started hating each other. I was just about to have our first son, Jorden, when Derrick and I tried marriage counseling. There was an exercise we had to do about telling each other if there were any secrets that we needed to share than to do so. So we did. I had been completely faithful up to that point in our marriage, but he hadn't. I remember my heart shattering as he told me he had cheated on me the night before our wedding. Now what you should know, is that him and I were already married at the time of our wedding. We got married one Wednesday night at church with the preacher and two witnesses, then decided that we would have a big wedding for our family. So, I sat there in disbelief. I am a very forgiving person, and sometimes I get taken advantage of because of it. So I forgave him. Life went on. A couple years later, I was pregnant again with our second child Leah. During that pregnancy he cheated again, so I left. Of course, he promised and begged and promised some more that it would never happen again, so crazy me went back. Third child, Matthew, guess what happened? Yes. Once again he was unfaithful. You would think I would've learned by then, and I thought I did. I left again. I loaded up the car with Jorden and left. Drove to my mom's in Georgia. Now, I'm not perfect either. While I was in Georgia, I met a great guy. He treated me the way I wanted to be treated, and of course, told me things I wanted to hear. So we slept together. Now, I had cheated too. Two weeks went by, but all I could think about was Derrick. I don't know what it is about him that makes me need him. So I came back. Things were good for awhile, until he decided to turn to alcohol to make him happy. In April of 2009 I had had enough. We were getting a divorce, I moved out, got a job, and the boys and I were gone. Until, I found out I was pregnant, yet again, with Elizabeth. I found out in May '09 that I was having another baby. She wasn't supposed to happen. I hated Derrick and I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. We were separated about 7 months when we both decided that our children needed the both of us, together. We were going to try it again. If not for us, for our kids. He moved into my little two-bedroom apartment, and we worked on things.
Now I don't have any rhyme or reason for why things have gotten so screwed up in our relationship. I just know that it has to be some sort of blessing in disguise. I can't answer the questions on how we're even still together, I just know that we are. I love Derrick with all my heart, even after all the crap we have been through. I don't know why. I know that God can give you the power to forgive anything that anyone has ever done to you. He forgives us, why shouldn't we be able to forgive? God says that He forgives and tosses it as far as the east is from the west. He forgets about it. Now, as humans we don't forget, but we can let go. I don't really know why I decided to write this post tonight, but I know that it's for someone to read. I want to help others with their experiences and to learn from my mistakes and successes. Only God can give that healing power, that can overcome anything. Just trust in Him, spend time with Him, and He, Only He, can make things new. He will Bless your socks off if you let Him. Will you let Him?
Revelation 21:5
And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.
Derrick and I have been married for 7 years. We've had our tough times and we've had our good times. Sometimes, I still wonder why I married him or why God allowed us to meet and brought us to marriage. Derrick and I had been married about 2 years when we started hating each other. I was just about to have our first son, Jorden, when Derrick and I tried marriage counseling. There was an exercise we had to do about telling each other if there were any secrets that we needed to share than to do so. So we did. I had been completely faithful up to that point in our marriage, but he hadn't. I remember my heart shattering as he told me he had cheated on me the night before our wedding. Now what you should know, is that him and I were already married at the time of our wedding. We got married one Wednesday night at church with the preacher and two witnesses, then decided that we would have a big wedding for our family. So, I sat there in disbelief. I am a very forgiving person, and sometimes I get taken advantage of because of it. So I forgave him. Life went on. A couple years later, I was pregnant again with our second child Leah. During that pregnancy he cheated again, so I left. Of course, he promised and begged and promised some more that it would never happen again, so crazy me went back. Third child, Matthew, guess what happened? Yes. Once again he was unfaithful. You would think I would've learned by then, and I thought I did. I left again. I loaded up the car with Jorden and left. Drove to my mom's in Georgia. Now, I'm not perfect either. While I was in Georgia, I met a great guy. He treated me the way I wanted to be treated, and of course, told me things I wanted to hear. So we slept together. Now, I had cheated too. Two weeks went by, but all I could think about was Derrick. I don't know what it is about him that makes me need him. So I came back. Things were good for awhile, until he decided to turn to alcohol to make him happy. In April of 2009 I had had enough. We were getting a divorce, I moved out, got a job, and the boys and I were gone. Until, I found out I was pregnant, yet again, with Elizabeth. I found out in May '09 that I was having another baby. She wasn't supposed to happen. I hated Derrick and I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. We were separated about 7 months when we both decided that our children needed the both of us, together. We were going to try it again. If not for us, for our kids. He moved into my little two-bedroom apartment, and we worked on things.
Now I don't have any rhyme or reason for why things have gotten so screwed up in our relationship. I just know that it has to be some sort of blessing in disguise. I can't answer the questions on how we're even still together, I just know that we are. I love Derrick with all my heart, even after all the crap we have been through. I don't know why. I know that God can give you the power to forgive anything that anyone has ever done to you. He forgives us, why shouldn't we be able to forgive? God says that He forgives and tosses it as far as the east is from the west. He forgets about it. Now, as humans we don't forget, but we can let go. I don't really know why I decided to write this post tonight, but I know that it's for someone to read. I want to help others with their experiences and to learn from my mistakes and successes. Only God can give that healing power, that can overcome anything. Just trust in Him, spend time with Him, and He, Only He, can make things new. He will Bless your socks off if you let Him. Will you let Him?
Revelation 21:5
And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Peanut Butter or Jelly?
Peanut Butter or Jelly? Ham or the Cheese? Ever feel like you're sandwiched in between something? I do.
In this whirlwind of life with school, doctors appointments, t-ball practice or games, anything that goes on in life, and yet in the middle of two pieces of bread. Parents and kids.
It's called the sandwich generation... Where as two young adults, try to battle with children and their parents. Aging parents are like children, they need your attention just like your own child. I'm starting to think that I'm raising 12 children instead of 3. This is including Derrick's parents. I understand that as we get older our bodies and minds deteriorate and we become children again. It's just a lot to balance. Between taking this parent here, or getting that parent from there, it puts a strain on a relationship. This is what we are dealing with, and if you're not already, then get ready. It wears on me because I see the stress that Derrick is going through on a daily basis, having to worry about what his parents need. They call all day needing something. Now don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that he can be there for them and help, and especially having the willingness to want to do it, I admire. But, where's time for our family? I dislike not being able to see him or the children not being able to, because he is gone.
Then I wonder about me. Where are my priorities? Am I giving time to where it's needed? Am I spending enough time with my children, or are they playing with each other most of the time? The answer is: needs improvement. I find myself wondering a lot lately about how things that are going on in my life correlate to what goes on with my relationship with God. Am I that sandwiched between life, that I'm not making time for Him? Yes. And we can all make excuses. We're too busy, or I need more hours in the day. We've all done it, I'm definitely to blame. God wants us to be sandwiched in Him. He's the Jelly, all the sweet, juicy things in life. We're the peanut butter, the sticky mess that is full of nuts and impurities.
Did Jesus get so involved in life that He didn't make time for His own Father? No. I'm sure Jesus had His sandwich moments. Being stuck in the wilderness being tempted by the Devil. If that's not sandwiched, I don't know what is. He was stuck, not eating nor drinking anything for forty days. He was sandwiched between doing what was right, or choosing to do what was wrong.
We are all just like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. What will you do to keep from getting stuck?
James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
In this whirlwind of life with school, doctors appointments, t-ball practice or games, anything that goes on in life, and yet in the middle of two pieces of bread. Parents and kids.
It's called the sandwich generation... Where as two young adults, try to battle with children and their parents. Aging parents are like children, they need your attention just like your own child. I'm starting to think that I'm raising 12 children instead of 3. This is including Derrick's parents. I understand that as we get older our bodies and minds deteriorate and we become children again. It's just a lot to balance. Between taking this parent here, or getting that parent from there, it puts a strain on a relationship. This is what we are dealing with, and if you're not already, then get ready. It wears on me because I see the stress that Derrick is going through on a daily basis, having to worry about what his parents need. They call all day needing something. Now don't get me wrong, I'm so glad that he can be there for them and help, and especially having the willingness to want to do it, I admire. But, where's time for our family? I dislike not being able to see him or the children not being able to, because he is gone.
Then I wonder about me. Where are my priorities? Am I giving time to where it's needed? Am I spending enough time with my children, or are they playing with each other most of the time? The answer is: needs improvement. I find myself wondering a lot lately about how things that are going on in my life correlate to what goes on with my relationship with God. Am I that sandwiched between life, that I'm not making time for Him? Yes. And we can all make excuses. We're too busy, or I need more hours in the day. We've all done it, I'm definitely to blame. God wants us to be sandwiched in Him. He's the Jelly, all the sweet, juicy things in life. We're the peanut butter, the sticky mess that is full of nuts and impurities.
Did Jesus get so involved in life that He didn't make time for His own Father? No. I'm sure Jesus had His sandwich moments. Being stuck in the wilderness being tempted by the Devil. If that's not sandwiched, I don't know what is. He was stuck, not eating nor drinking anything for forty days. He was sandwiched between doing what was right, or choosing to do what was wrong.
We are all just like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. What will you do to keep from getting stuck?
James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Worth It....
In my last post I told the story and hard time I was having with tithing. Today it paid off...
God is SO good all the time, even when we don't realize it. We take so many things for granted, whether it is relationships, material things, health, anything that God gives us, we do. After my plea to God, about trusting Him with my money, I gave the 10% that He asks us to give. As I said before, God doesn't NEED our money. The point of tithing is not to give God our money, but teach us to trust and be faithful to Him. I trusted, I was faithful, I did my part, now for God to do His...
Several months ago my husband had been told about a side job within his company. For the last 3-4 months things had been going back and forth about whether he was going to be receiving this job or not. We were so in need of extra money, he was considering going to work part time at a nightclub. I told him no of course, that it wasn't a good idea. For once he listened...This morning about 8:30 Derrick got a call from the supervisor over the job he'd been waiting for. He told Derrick that he had let the guy that had been doing the job go and that he wanted him to start this job on the weekend of Jan. 28th. I don't think Derrick actually realized what had happened until he came home tonight and I sat down and explained to him why this happened now. He has been so stressed about whether or not he was getting this job that he had pretty much given up. Saying that we're going to have to get used to living poor. I'm glad I didn't have that attitude.
I don't want to boast or brag about me doing the right thing. I want to give wisdom and share my experience with you, so that you may learn from my mistakes and do the right thing NOW. I wonder if I would have started actually trusting God with my money several weeks ago all this could have been avoided. Then I think no. God allowed me to wait this long to trust Him so that I will learn from this experience and remind me that He's always on time. If I would have started tithing a month or six months ago, the lesson I am learning from this now would not have impacted me in this way. I just have to say Wow! I also kick myself for being stupid and not doing this a long time ago. You live and you learn. And what God is teaching me now will forever change my thought process. I hope it changes Derrick's too. I think he is realizing what is going on and in his own way he is impacted too. He just won't show or say it the way I do.
I leave you with this:
Genesis 28:20-22
Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will keep me on this journey that I take, and will give me food to eat and garments to wear, and I return to my father’s house in safety, then the Lord will be my God. “This stone, which I have set up as a pillar, will be God’s house, and of all that You give me I will surely give a tenth to You.”
God is SO good all the time, even when we don't realize it. We take so many things for granted, whether it is relationships, material things, health, anything that God gives us, we do. After my plea to God, about trusting Him with my money, I gave the 10% that He asks us to give. As I said before, God doesn't NEED our money. The point of tithing is not to give God our money, but teach us to trust and be faithful to Him. I trusted, I was faithful, I did my part, now for God to do His...
Several months ago my husband had been told about a side job within his company. For the last 3-4 months things had been going back and forth about whether he was going to be receiving this job or not. We were so in need of extra money, he was considering going to work part time at a nightclub. I told him no of course, that it wasn't a good idea. For once he listened...This morning about 8:30 Derrick got a call from the supervisor over the job he'd been waiting for. He told Derrick that he had let the guy that had been doing the job go and that he wanted him to start this job on the weekend of Jan. 28th. I don't think Derrick actually realized what had happened until he came home tonight and I sat down and explained to him why this happened now. He has been so stressed about whether or not he was getting this job that he had pretty much given up. Saying that we're going to have to get used to living poor. I'm glad I didn't have that attitude.
I don't want to boast or brag about me doing the right thing. I want to give wisdom and share my experience with you, so that you may learn from my mistakes and do the right thing NOW. I wonder if I would have started actually trusting God with my money several weeks ago all this could have been avoided. Then I think no. God allowed me to wait this long to trust Him so that I will learn from this experience and remind me that He's always on time. If I would have started tithing a month or six months ago, the lesson I am learning from this now would not have impacted me in this way. I just have to say Wow! I also kick myself for being stupid and not doing this a long time ago. You live and you learn. And what God is teaching me now will forever change my thought process. I hope it changes Derrick's too. I think he is realizing what is going on and in his own way he is impacted too. He just won't show or say it the way I do.
I leave you with this:
Genesis 28:20-22
Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will keep me on this journey that I take, and will give me food to eat and garments to wear, and I return to my father’s house in safety, then the Lord will be my God. “This stone, which I have set up as a pillar, will be God’s house, and of all that You give me I will surely give a tenth to You.”
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Starting a new Journey..
Much has happened in the last few days.. After all the trouble and decisions we've had to make with our house, I find out Friday that it has been taken off the market. So now what? We still proceed as planned... Our "lease", if you can even call it that anymore, doesn't technically end until May, but, I have no idea if it's even still valid with all the things that have happened lately. There are SO many things running through my mind right now that I have a constant headache over it. I'm slightly stressed and tired.
On top of everything else, I have made a conscious and valiant attempt to begin tithing. I cried when I gave the check to the church. With the bills that we have and the deposit put up for the new trailer, we don't have the money for anything else. I turned in the check, completely trusting God that He will take care of everything. It is so hard for me right now to rely on anything, but I am trusting God on this one thing. I prayed the other night that I don't care if God even gave me half of the money I tithed back, just so that I can get a full tank of gas to last me a full 2 weeks. That's all I'm asking for, nothing more, nothing less. This is a beginning of a new journey for me because I haven't ever been faithful in tithing. In the Word, God tells us to test Him on this one thing. He more or less dares us to do our part in offering what we have, and He WILL bless us for it. My hubby is so stressed because of the whole money situation that he's not himself. I told him that I was going to do this and it's not a big deal to him. My prayer is that God will use this opportunity to show my husband, that He is the Creator of all things and Lord of Lords, King of Kings. I want him to use this to grow, not only my faith, but the hubby's as well. God doesn't need our money. By no means does He need it, but He tells us in His Word to be diligent and faithful.
As for the house, I wish I had some legal advice on what our rights are and aren't. I'm so confused and torn on what we should do, where God wants to take us. I would love some feedback. Hopefully soon, I can quit being so stressed all the time and having so much drama in my life. I'm exhausted from worry and stress.
So right now, at this moment, and from now on, I am completely trusting the Lord with my money. I know it's going to be a tough road and I'm sure I will fault from time to time.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
On top of everything else, I have made a conscious and valiant attempt to begin tithing. I cried when I gave the check to the church. With the bills that we have and the deposit put up for the new trailer, we don't have the money for anything else. I turned in the check, completely trusting God that He will take care of everything. It is so hard for me right now to rely on anything, but I am trusting God on this one thing. I prayed the other night that I don't care if God even gave me half of the money I tithed back, just so that I can get a full tank of gas to last me a full 2 weeks. That's all I'm asking for, nothing more, nothing less. This is a beginning of a new journey for me because I haven't ever been faithful in tithing. In the Word, God tells us to test Him on this one thing. He more or less dares us to do our part in offering what we have, and He WILL bless us for it. My hubby is so stressed because of the whole money situation that he's not himself. I told him that I was going to do this and it's not a big deal to him. My prayer is that God will use this opportunity to show my husband, that He is the Creator of all things and Lord of Lords, King of Kings. I want him to use this to grow, not only my faith, but the hubby's as well. God doesn't need our money. By no means does He need it, but He tells us in His Word to be diligent and faithful.
As for the house, I wish I had some legal advice on what our rights are and aren't. I'm so confused and torn on what we should do, where God wants to take us. I would love some feedback. Hopefully soon, I can quit being so stressed all the time and having so much drama in my life. I'm exhausted from worry and stress.
So right now, at this moment, and from now on, I am completely trusting the Lord with my money. I know it's going to be a tough road and I'm sure I will fault from time to time.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Things are always Bigger and BETTER than what they seem....
No matter which way we want things to go, God always has something different planned...
In August, I started receiving notices on my door from the finance company that holds the lean on our house. We have been living here since May and renting for $500 a month. I wanted out of the little two bedroom apartment that we were in with 3 kids. This house came available so we took it. Ya it stinks having to pay rent, but our credit is shot so we didn't really have any other choice. Now in December we get a certified letter from the McClain county sheriff's office saying that our house is being foreclosed on and that it's going up for auction and will be sold on January 18th. GREAT! right? All the money we've put into this house hasn't gone to the mortgage company...So now what?
We find a new place to live. I was so stressed and worried that we wouldn't find anywhere to live before the house was sold, I was crabby to my hubby, kids, and everyone around me. The funny thing is, was that hubby wasn't worried at all...I'm usually not a big worrier. I've learned to be able to trust God with things beyond my control, but for some reason I wanted to do this. I didn't want MY family, especially the kids to be homeless or in a tighter space to live in. But, of course, as always God told me "I Got This."
I have explained what's been going on to only a few people, and why I chose to explain it to a friend I haven't seen or talked to in years is beyond me. We had a play date with our kids at the mall. First REAL play date I've been to since my oldest was about 3. I started to tell her about everything happening in my life right now and how stressed I was about the house. Then she gave me hope, an offer that we really couldn't refuse. Her Grandpa had a 3 bedroom trailer for rent on his land, right next door to her, in the country. The kicker, only $250 a month rent! What, really? Are u kidding? I thought. If this isn't a God thing I don't know what is....
So, I told hubby about it, and we went and looked at it. Yes it's small, very small. Probably smaller square footage size than our 2 bedroom house we live in now. But it's a house and it's somewhere to live. My kids don't have to go homeless.
I catch myself thanking God alot for giving us this open door, so u can call it, as to an answer of prayer and a glimmer of hope. I catch myself complaining about how I'm going to have to downsize things and go without some things, and then I tell myself to be quiet and that God's Got This. I don't have to be worried anymore, just grateful. If I hadn't had told my friend about what was going on she would've never known to offer me that trailer.
And as I sit here finishing up this post, I wonder to my self how many times I've missed an opportunity or blessing because I kept my mouth shut. We have opportunities to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ everyday of our lives, and how many of us miss that because we're afraid or just simply not listening? I know I do. So for this new year I'm am going to do better in listening to God when He speaks so I don't miss out.
Do you hear Him?
What’s missing in your life.
The Holy Spirit tells you to listen and know God.
You make excuses about work, family, clutter, noise.
The Holy Spirit tells you over and over.
He, the Father, is waiting on You!
Listen.
In August, I started receiving notices on my door from the finance company that holds the lean on our house. We have been living here since May and renting for $500 a month. I wanted out of the little two bedroom apartment that we were in with 3 kids. This house came available so we took it. Ya it stinks having to pay rent, but our credit is shot so we didn't really have any other choice. Now in December we get a certified letter from the McClain county sheriff's office saying that our house is being foreclosed on and that it's going up for auction and will be sold on January 18th. GREAT! right? All the money we've put into this house hasn't gone to the mortgage company...So now what?
We find a new place to live. I was so stressed and worried that we wouldn't find anywhere to live before the house was sold, I was crabby to my hubby, kids, and everyone around me. The funny thing is, was that hubby wasn't worried at all...I'm usually not a big worrier. I've learned to be able to trust God with things beyond my control, but for some reason I wanted to do this. I didn't want MY family, especially the kids to be homeless or in a tighter space to live in. But, of course, as always God told me "I Got This."
I have explained what's been going on to only a few people, and why I chose to explain it to a friend I haven't seen or talked to in years is beyond me. We had a play date with our kids at the mall. First REAL play date I've been to since my oldest was about 3. I started to tell her about everything happening in my life right now and how stressed I was about the house. Then she gave me hope, an offer that we really couldn't refuse. Her Grandpa had a 3 bedroom trailer for rent on his land, right next door to her, in the country. The kicker, only $250 a month rent! What, really? Are u kidding? I thought. If this isn't a God thing I don't know what is....
So, I told hubby about it, and we went and looked at it. Yes it's small, very small. Probably smaller square footage size than our 2 bedroom house we live in now. But it's a house and it's somewhere to live. My kids don't have to go homeless.
I catch myself thanking God alot for giving us this open door, so u can call it, as to an answer of prayer and a glimmer of hope. I catch myself complaining about how I'm going to have to downsize things and go without some things, and then I tell myself to be quiet and that God's Got This. I don't have to be worried anymore, just grateful. If I hadn't had told my friend about what was going on she would've never known to offer me that trailer.
And as I sit here finishing up this post, I wonder to my self how many times I've missed an opportunity or blessing because I kept my mouth shut. We have opportunities to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ everyday of our lives, and how many of us miss that because we're afraid or just simply not listening? I know I do. So for this new year I'm am going to do better in listening to God when He speaks so I don't miss out.
Do you hear Him?
What’s missing in your life.
The Holy Spirit tells you to listen and know God.
You make excuses about work, family, clutter, noise.
The Holy Spirit tells you over and over.
He, the Father, is waiting on You!
Listen.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
1-11-11
It is the first day of my blogging journey. One of my best friends talked me into it...No better way to start something new than on 1-11-11, also the first birthday of my daughter, Elizabeth. So here the adventure begins with lots of tears, laughter, love, and hurt. I pray that God helps me in the words to say so that my experiences will help others. I have been through alot with my husband, Derrick ,of 7 years. Anyone you ask would say that we've been through more than most couples would go through in a lifetime together. I will explain in depth on a later post. Just for now, I'm letting you know a little about me, the person behind the words.
I am a stay at home mom of 4 beautiful children. Only 3 are living children, but I never leave out the one who's not here with us today. I'll go into more detail on my angel Leah at a later date. I own my own business and my hubby works a full time job, not saying that being a mom isn't full time :) We manage. Things are tight with 3 children and only one full time income but we seem to do ok. We are a typical family, nothing special. Our family consists of, of course, my hubby Derrick, me, 2 boys and now 1 girl. They range from age 6yrs-1yr. I am very busy, busy all the time and don't have a whole lot of time to do much else than clean, cook, laundry, play with the kids, and t-ball in the spring. Those of you who have children understand :)
Well I think I'm going to end there. It is getting late and I have to start all over again tomorrow. This probably won't be an everyday writing, but I will do my best to post at least twice a week. For now, goodnight and remember:
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40: 28-31)
I am a stay at home mom of 4 beautiful children. Only 3 are living children, but I never leave out the one who's not here with us today. I'll go into more detail on my angel Leah at a later date. I own my own business and my hubby works a full time job, not saying that being a mom isn't full time :) We manage. Things are tight with 3 children and only one full time income but we seem to do ok. We are a typical family, nothing special. Our family consists of, of course, my hubby Derrick, me, 2 boys and now 1 girl. They range from age 6yrs-1yr. I am very busy, busy all the time and don't have a whole lot of time to do much else than clean, cook, laundry, play with the kids, and t-ball in the spring. Those of you who have children understand :)
Well I think I'm going to end there. It is getting late and I have to start all over again tomorrow. This probably won't be an everyday writing, but I will do my best to post at least twice a week. For now, goodnight and remember:
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40: 28-31)
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